Life Does Get Better
If you're wondering where I've been lately, I've been traveling with my dad, my son and my aunt to Europe. This trip was on my dad's bucket list - to visit England and Ireland - where our ancestors are from. My dad is 80, my aunt is 78 and my youngest son is 25 - so it was definitely a multi generational trip.
And honestly? A few years ago, I wouldn’t have enjoyed it. I was deep in survival mode, completely consumed by my husband’s midlife crisis — just like many of you are now.
But I want to tell you something I wish someone had told me back then:
It really does get better.
I know you can’t see it right now. You’re just trying to survive and get through the day (or heck — the next 10 minutes). But I promise you — it does get better. A lot better. Trust me.
Because of my husband's midlife crisis, I have learned to slow down and take each day as it comes, to focus on the good things, to appreciate the small things. Because that's all we have. We can't live for tomorrow. We can't wait to be happy until he comes back. Life is too short, too precious.
This trip was a group tour of about 22 people - mostly couples. But our family group was special - my dad just lost his wife (my mom last May), my aunt lost her husband (my uncle 2 years ago) and me ("lost" my husband to mlc) and then there's my son - just taking it all in. So while you may think that vacations such as this are spent best with "your" person, I'm here to tell you that you can go and have a great time - even without "your" person. I'm living proof.
Did I think about my husband and how I wished he were here?
Of course I did - but they were fleeting moments. They didn't dominate the trip. Why? Because I enjoyed the moments with my family - especially my dad. I have learned to enjoy the "now."
The Old Narrative of Missing Out
There were some moments where I had too much "togetherness," and wished I had alone time and there was none to be had. And then suddenly it seemed - everyone left early on Thursday morning and they went on to Portugal and Spain. After they left and I finally got my "quiet" time, I felt a pang of sadness at first - why? Because I felt I was missing out - out of habit.
But I reminded myself: I chose this. I wanted to come home early. I wanted to get back to the work I love — to YOU. And I wasn’t missing out. That old narrative is just muscle memory. It fades faster these days.
I flew home before the rest of the group because I'm excited to jump back into helping my members and to prepare for our next membership launch in June. I'm so proud of our Resilient Hearts Program. I'm so proud of the women in there. They all have made such huge progress on themselves. It's so rewarding to see how far they have come. They have all literally transformed in front of my eyes.
This Is a Journey for You!
Because not only is this a journey for our husbands, this is a journey for YOU. Looking back over these last 5 years, I'm proud of where I am. Yes it's been so painful and horrible at times, but growing hurts. Transformation is never easy but it's so worth it. And now the good times are back regularly. I am happy again - without my husband, without my mom. Is my life 100% happy? No, but life isn't 100% happy all the time. Otherwise we wouldn't know the difference. Life is more 50/50. But I can honestly say it's back to my "normal " happiness level. It was down to like 1% there for awhile.
So if you're just starting this journey, or if you're in the messy middle, just know it's a process. It takes time. But the sooner you stop seeing yourself as the victim, the faster and easier your journey will be and the more confident and powerful you'll feel again. Yes this midlife crisis happened - but it's what you do with the experience that will determine your future. You can stay bitter, stuck and confused or you can learn, rise and build a life you love - whether he comes home or not. It's all up to you. So what will you choose?
If you need support, help understanding what your husband’s midlife crisis is all about, get on our waiting list for the next opening to our Resilient Hearts Membership. We know what you’re going through, we get it when your friends and family don’t, we’ve been there and we can help!